How should parents explain therapy to their child?

Explaining therapy to a child can feel like navigating uncharted territory. As a parent, you may feel uncertain about how to introduce the concept of therapy and support your child in this journey. The good news is that being open, honest, and thoughtful in your approach can set the foundation for a positive therapeutic experience.

Here are some practical guidelines to help you navigate these conversations with your child, whether they are a young child or a teenager.

Tailoring the Conversation to Your Child’s Age and Needs

How you talk about therapy depends largely on your child’s age, developmental stage, and personality. Younger children often benefit from simple and clear language, while teenagers may need more reassurance about confidentiality and autonomy.

For Young Children: Use simple, concrete language when explaining therapy to younger kids. You might say, “We’re going to see someone who helps kids when they’re feeling big emotions or when things feel a little tricky.” Reassure them that the therapist is there to help and that it’s a safe space to play and talk. Remind them about upcoming appointments to help build consistency and predictability.

For Teenagers: With teens, it’s crucial to address their potential concerns about privacy and trust. Emphasize that therapy is a confidential space designed to support them, not a place where they will be judged or “fixed.” Reassure them that the therapist’s role is to help them navigate challenges in a way that feels comfortable for them. Being direct and honest can foster their buy-in and reduce resistance.

Children need us to help them make sense of what they are experiencing in a way that feels safe, predictable, and nurturing.

Dr. Daniel Siegel

Be Honest, but Keep It Positive

Children can sense when something is being hidden from them, so honesty is key. Explain why therapy can be beneficial without labelling it as a solution to a “problem.” Instead, frame it as a way to help them better understand themselves, manage emotions, or feel more confident. For example, you might say, “Therapy is a place where you can talk, play, and work through feelings with someone who really understands how to help.”

Avoid Probing or Pressuring

One common mistake parents make is asking too many questions about the therapy session. While it’s natural to be curious, questions like “What did you talk about?” or “How did it go?” can make children feel pressured to share. Instead, trust that they will open up when they feel ready. For younger children, much of their “talking” happens through play. Play therapy allows them to express their inner world and experiences in a natural and nonverbal way. The therapist observes, participates, and gently guides this process to help them process their emotions. If your child wants to share something, they will often do so at an unexpected moment when they feel comfortable.

Respect Privacy and Confidentiality

Respecting your child’s privacy is an important part of building trust in the therapeutic process. Let them know that what they discuss with their therapist is private, except in situations where safety is a concern. This assurance can be particularly significant for teenagers, who often value their independence and autonomy.

Set Realistic Expectations

Therapy is not a quick fix. While the process can include play or enjoyable activities, it is not simply “fun” time. It is a structured and intentional space for healing and growth, which takes time and patience. As a parent, it’s important to manage your own expectations and trust the process. Relationships and rapport between the child and therapist are the foundation of effective therapy, and these connections often require time to develop.

Supporting the Therapeutic Journey

Your role as a parent is to support your child’s therapeutic journey by providing encouragement and understanding. Here are some additional tips to consider:

  • Prepare for the Appointment: Let your child know ahead of time when their appointments are, and ensure they feel supported getting there.
  • Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge any nervousness or reluctance they might feel, and reassure them that it’s okay to feel that way.
  • Be Patient: Growth and progress in therapy can be gradual. Trust the therapist to guide the process, and celebrate small wins along the way.
  • Model Healthy Coping: Show your child that seeking support is a normal and positive step by modeling healthy ways to cope with stress or challenges in your own life.

Therapy is a valuable opportunity for children to explore their emotions, build resilience, and develop skills to navigate life’s challenges. As a parent, your role is to create a supportive environment that honors their feelings, respects their boundaries, and celebrates their growth. By being open, patient, and understanding, you can help your child see therapy not as something to fear but as a powerful tool for their well-being.

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